


My Family

by CrowsandCooks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Yakuza, Human Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iruka is so tired, Itachi is so entertained, Kiba is proud, Kid Uzumaki Naruto, M/M, Naruto is Just Naruto, mentions of - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-02-01 06:21:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrowsandCooks/pseuds/CrowsandCooks
Summary: It was just to be a simple report on your family.Not to test  Iruka's sanity.
Relationships: Implied Uchiha Sasuke/ Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba/Uchiha Itachi
Comments: 17
Kudos: 142





	My Family

**Author's Note:**

> Sway in the wind, lovelies.

“Welcome home”

Standing in the foyer, as usual, was Kiba, face beaming at the entrance of his husband. His hands were outstretched and waiting, Itachi handed Kiba the sleeping child that was in his arms. Kiba took him without comment, brown eyes staring at Itachi’s lips.

“I’m home” Itachi answered, he bent over and pressed his mouth against Kiba’s. It was a slow but soft kiss, Kiba grinned and gave him a peck. He finally glanced at the child sleeping in his arms and tilted his head in confusion.

“Who’s this?” he questioned, adjusting the child so his head rested on Kiba’s shoulders. “We’ve branched into child stealing?”

“Don’t joke” Itachi answered, taking his coat and scarf off. “I hate trafficking” he placed the itemson the coat hook. Kiba hummed and went into the living room, Itachi followed, loosening his tie and leaving his shoes at the entrance. The living room smelt of curry, his stomach growled in response. Kiba sat on the wooden floors, watching the tiny child on the couch, head on a cushion and a blanket covering him.

“Is he ours?” Kiba asked, running his nails through the dirty blond hair. The emaciated and colourful bruises on the boy’s face told a story but it was too vague for him to make out. “He’s Sasuke’s age, right?”

“If you want him to be” Itachi said. “I can have the documents forged and delivered by morning”

Kiba hummed again, Itachi remained silent, his stomach rumbled but he felt nothing but patience.

“Where did you find him?”

“A man offered him to me in lieu of a debt” Itachi walked towards him, his steps were silent on the wooden floors. “He found him and was going to fatten him up for the block”

“The block, huh?” Kiba smiled. “So that’s why you were so late today” He turned to Itachi, “So the mountains or the sea?”

“I was feeling generous.” Itachi replied. “So I had him buried in the mountains”

“Alive?”

“As usual”

Kiba stood up and hugged Itachi, Itachi smelt of sweat and blood but underneath was something sharp and earthy. He nuzzled against Itachi’s chest and was pulled closer in response. Itachi took out his phone and sent a text.

“He has a name?” Kiba muttered, Itachi rested his chin on Kiba’s hair.

“Yes. Naruto”

xxx

“My name is Naruto Uchiha and I am six years old. I have a mommy and a daddy and a fox. My mummy is an animal trainer. He trains all sorts of animals like dogs and wolves and foxes.

My daddy is a businessman and mummy says that daddy’s job is very dangerous and very important because he brings home the most moolah but if he’s not careful, he could end up at the wrong side of a knife like mummy’s daddy did.”

“Naruto!”

Naruto smiled at his teacher, “It’s okay sensei! Grandpa Inuzuka didn’t die” he explained. “He has a real cool scar. The other guy did though but grandpa says the foolish don’t matter.”

Iruka blinked and started to rub his forehead.

“Your father is too much”

“If you haven’t realised, we, Inuzukas, are not great at subtleties.” Kiba raised the phone higher. “You’re doing great, sweetie!”

“My fox name is Kyuubi and he has orange fur. He likes to run up and down and bite people that annoy me.

I have a lot of family on both sides. My favourite family member is Auntie Hana who is a vet. My least favourite is –.”

“Hold on, Naruto!” Iruke interrupted. “I didn’t ask for your least favourite relative”

Naruto pouted, “Are you sure, sensei?”

“Yes, Naruto”

There was a pause, Naruto squinted his eyes, Iruka looked back in suspicion. “Don’t do it” he warned.

“It’s Grandpa Uchiha” Naruto rushed out. Iruka facepalmed, he peeked out his fingers at Itachi.

“That’s quite fine, Naruto. We don’t really care for him much either” Itachi said. Naruto grinned and Kiba threw his head back laughing. Iruka placed his head on the desk and gestured at Naruto to continue.

“I have a lot of cousins but Sasuke is the only one who is my age. He’s fun to play with but he’s also a jerk and a bastard.”

“Naruto!” Iruka hissed but Naruto continued unperturbed.

“He keeps saying since I’m dumb, I should just marry him that way I will be set for life. Kyuubi won’t bite him, I think he bribes him with treats”

Kiba covered his mouth, face hiding behind his husband’s shoulder. “Sasuke needs to work on his sweet talk” Itachi sighed.

“Listen pot, that proposal is verbatim to yours”

“I like to think I was a bit more subtle”

“You told me to just elope with you then I could eat all the candy I want” Kiba snickered. “I was six.”

“See, that was subtle for my age”

“You were an eleven-year-old prodigy” Kiba snorted. “What are you talking about?”

Itachi blushed, “Shut up” pinching Kiba’s side. Kiba yelped and laughed harder.

“I asked daddy if I should marry Sasuke and daddy said if I want to I can. If anything, it will make family reunions more interesting. They're very boring except for the last one when someone tried to assassinate grandpa Uchiha”

“Your daddy was joking, right Naruto?” Iruka asked, a hopeful look on his face. Itachi had to respect the man’s optimism. “No one really tried to **assassinate **your grandfather” Naruto glanced at his parents than back at his teacher.

“Yes, no one did” he said slowly, to everyone that wasn’t his parents, it wasn’t obvious that he was just humouring the man. Iruka released a sigh of relief that sounded almost like a prayer of thanks.

“I’m glad he and Sasuke aren’t in the same class” Itachi commented.

“I don’t know” Kiba replied. “I feel like the calls from the principal would have been entertaining”

“We wouldn't be able to come to the school every day, Kiba” Itachi gently reminded him.

“Pity”

“And that’s my family” Naruto concluded with a grin. Iruka and Kiba clapped the hardest, Kiba blowing kisses to their son, the crowd of parents with them at the back of the classroom, clapped slowly in confusion and apprehension. Iruka told Naruto to go back his seat and silently promised himself a very strong drink after work.

Somewhere in another classroom, after a certain Uchiha read his own report on his family, Hatake Kakashi was also making a solemn promise to get plastered .

**Author's Note:**

> *rubs hands fiendishly*


End file.
